3.1 v.20 Perennials!

The Rottens are back  baby and worse than ever! After a complete game wipe and re-install I was left with two candidates to shoulder the legacy and I chose…

Broccoli! The over looked spare of gen. 3! His cynical nature will give us some great back and forth as we re-found the legacy together.  

Broc: “Uh why am I here? I was free! I was living it up on the interwebs free from your evil clutches. Now you bring me back here to legacy hell, and not just any legacy hell, founder’s legacy hell. No house, no money, and no one else to talk to so I’m stuck with you yammering in my ear.”

I love you too Broc. :L

Broc: “No but seriously why am I here? I mean read the shirt I don’t care, no one cares. I don’t want to settle down, I don’t want to get a job, and I don’t want to be stuck being your painting slave for the rest of my life”—

You shut your mouth and you paint for me! And wtf is with your t-shirt!?  I’ll have you know that bloggers add so much value and great philosophical debate to the worldwide internet. Our blogs are valid and meaningful!

Broc: *snicker* “You don’t like it? Well get used to it. This is what you get for not updating in nearly a YEAR! No one cares anymore, Hahahaha.”

>:L  You know what? Less talk and more paint!

Uhhh…

Broc: “Just don’t; don’t ask.”

Pfffft!

“The hate is epic right now.”

Just a side note to all you simmers out there if you have a painter sim the drafting table is not the way to go, get the easel. The easel costs less and you will earn way more money from your paintings. Plus you get to make your sims stand up all day.  :}

Now after Broc painted all day I sent him to troll the town for food and he managed to swipe some picnic basket munchies. I love that all townies have them it makes feeding my legacy sims really easy. Free food is the best food. 

As I tucked Broc in that night—

Broc: “Creepy.”

Ah-hem! I couldn’t help but think what a great first day at the legacy house hold it was. Except it wasn’t. As I’m sure you’ve heard before boom goes the dynamite.

The game crashed again. No saved data nothing. Everything I did with Broc was gone. 

At this point I was pretty much done. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was fed up with the game with EAxis with the stupid expansion packs that broke my game every time I tried to install them. I was fed up with the sims. But I decided to give it one more try.

Strawberry: “Most excellent choice my dear.”

Yeah yeah I know. Let the hula zombies rejoice.

Strawberry:” I’m glad you’ve finally given me my rightful place as heir to the Rotten Legacy throne. I will not disappoint.”

:T Well I don’t trust you. You don’t play fair. And with all the mods I have equipped I can only imagine the unspeakable things you’ll make me do. UNSPEAKABLE!

Strawberry: “Clairezy, Clairezy, Clairezy you worry too much. Just stick with me and do everything I want and nothing bad will ever happen to your game again.”

Liar! I would be a fool to believe that EAxis could create a game that worked properly, a fool!

So Strawberry what’cha doin’?

Strawberry: “You know how I wanted to be a Creature-Robot Cross-Breeder?”

Yeah.

Strawberry: “Well why cross-breed creature-robots when you can build MONSTERS! Mwhahahaha!”

Strawberry: “I shall name you Mega Ultra Llama Lord of Destruction and Madness the THIRD!”

O_o”

Strawberry: “And for my second minion of doom I bring fourth Bobert! Evil twin of Robert and the real father of Bob!”

Did I just here you say you wanted more gnomes?

Strawberry: “What? No I want to invent.”

More gnomes it is then. Mo’ gnomes mo’ legacy points.

Strawberry: “You know this is the place that drove me insane and turned me into a zombie. Why are you risking sending me back here?”

Simple, heirs aren’t affected by the curse of one-liners, so no matter how bad it gets you will never again be reduced to a simple catch phrase like ‘brains.’ You now get to be a complex character!

Strawberry: “Yay?”

Uh Strawberry you don’t look so good, but um did you get me my Mysterious Mr. Gnome?

Strawberry: “Creator please. Of course I did. All I had to do was give the creepy thing a strand of my hair. I said okay but only if she gave me one of hers in return.”

O.O ‘kay…

So Bobert is joined by Billiam the brother of William and biological father of Bill. Get the joke yet? :3

Strawberry: “Finally after scrimping and saving and selling the retarded gnomes—“

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD,:

Strawberry: *rolls eyes* “Okay I didn’t sell the gnomes but they’re still stupid. I mean you hardly get to see them because they move around all the time.”

So what were you saving money for?

Strawberry: “Three words: Lifetime Wish Fulfillment”

Strawberry: “Alright let’s get down to business: robbing the dumb as dirt locals out of their local heritage.”

Sounds like fun! I mean wait a sec…! Sorry that was the American in me coming out! You are not going to join MorcuCorp!

Strawberry: “Join MorcuCorp you say?  Alright if you say so.”

Nooooooooooo!

Strawberry: “Come out come out where ever you are priceless cultural artifacts!” ~♫

I’m so sorry Al Simhara, but I have no control over her. I mean literally ever since I patched freewill has just been wonky.

Strawberry: “Relic Smash!”

Is it just me or does she look way too happy swing a giant pick around and destroying things?

Strawberry: “Why can’t I use this at home? On other sims?”

SEE!? See what I mean? When strawberry is happy no one is happy!

Strawberry: “I thought these tombs were supposed to be deserted? Who’s doing their laundry in here?”

Maybe this is what Nraas means by wanting to get rid of the vagrant homeless population.

I would like to take a brief moment here to talk about The Sims 3 World Adventures expansion pack—

Strawberry: “Over my dead body nobody cuts me out and just voices over the pictures I’m in.”

Ugh fine you can be here too. Now back to what I was saying. I know the simming community on whole was disappointed in the Adventures expansion pack, and I went through a period where I frickin’ hated it after it killed my game and then I had to take every heir to each location, but now re-playing it I’m really taken aback at how beautiful it is. I mean just look at the scale. This is something I’ve never seen before in sims 1 or 2. 

I mean Strawberry looks like a tiny spec; this is awesome.

Strawberry: *gives me the evil eye* “I am most definitely not a tiny spec.”

Uhh you most definitely are.

Strawberry: “Bah!”

Okay that’s all I wanted to say. Now back to our usual Rotten Legacy programming!

Strawberry: “Using the power of the forward motion arrow I shall push this solid stone statue which is at least twice as big as I am.”

Strawberry: “You call this treasure? I call this empty.  Just like Clairezy’s head.” *smirk*

Really we’re going for grade school insult now?

Strawberry: “Well if the thinking hat fits.”             

bitch please

Oh it is on!

See that tomb over there? Why don’t clear the rubble away from it.

Strawberry: “Hmmm I wonder if I’ll find brains in here?”

Oh I’m sure you’ll find something >:}

Strawberry: “Oh my PlumBob it’s a mummy! Save me Clairezy I’ll never-ever do anything bad again!”

Strawberry: “Not”

Okay that’s it home now!

Strawberry: Wait please just one more thing!

Okay fine. This better be worth it.

Strawberry: “Synchronized drinking from cantine go!” *Chug Chug Chug* 

“Now let’s bring it home with a synchronized forehead sweat wipe!”

Hehe okay that was almost worth it but you know what really makes it a home run?

This girl’s face! Lol I like to think of her as the Egyptian Strawberry. Pfft.

Only in the sims would you get more money by going on a vacation. Now thanks to selling all those priceless relics I give you the partially completed Rotten Manor! It includes walls but no windows and a drive way without a car!

Now Stawberry show the reader what you found!

Strawberry: “Hold your horses I’m getting to it.”

Golden Pharoh Bust: “Return me to my holy resting place at once!”

Shh we found you fair and square just lying in that forbidden tomb, if the Egyptians didn’t want me to take you then they should have put up do not enter sign.

Golden Pharoh Bust: “They did.”

Then they should have written it in English.

Golden Pharoh Bust: “That language doesn’t exist in the simverse!”

Bah I don’t deal with simlish purests! Go back to mysimsblog and complain!

Strawberry: “Quiet! It is done!”

Strawberry: “Now this is a coffin!”

O.o epp! That is one scary lookin’ dude.

Strawberry: “Excelent I’m sure this will be extremely useful.”   

Advertisement